Gusgasm

Part 2: Build The Perfect Running Back

2011-10-27T02:48:00.000-07:00

Part 1: Perfect QB

Today we continue our series with part 2, Building The Perfect Running Back. When I think of the greatest runners of all time, what is it that set them apart? Speed? Power? Versatility? Longevity?

You get to decide which components you'd use to assemble your ultimate tail back.

Rules: Select 2 out of 8 attributes to build your “perfect” Running Back.

1.) Mr. Truck
The all-powerful tackle shedding ability of Jim Brown. Those who saw him play say he was the greatest of all time. The rest of us see the footage of him knocking LBs on the ground, reversing field and leaving would-bes in the dust and we’re inclined to agree. He also never missed a game. The only flaw in Jim Brown’s game was that he put the ball on the ground more often than some of the other greats.

2.) The Super
The extreme versatility of Marshall Faulk (Also – Roger Craig). Out of the backfield, lined up in the slot, or just in the good ol I formation… the only thing he didn’t do was kick the extra point after he scored (Jim Brown did). Faulk was the ultimate weapon on the best offense the league has ever seen.

3.) Home Run
Gale Sayers’ ability to take it to the house at any time. If he would have played longer, there is no doubt he’d be considered along with Brown as the G.O.A.T. The only other player I would fittingly put in this category would be Bo Jackson.

4.) All Day Sweetness
The durability / power / finesse combo that embodied Walter Payton back in the day, and his modern day incarnation Adrian Peterson. I almost hesitate to type this as I own Peterson in my fantasy league and I’m very superstitious about jinxes, but both players have eerily similar skill sets and also have proven that durability is the key to greatness. Sweetness did fumble quite a bit, but it seems that Adrian Peterson has corrected that flaw in his game.

5.) The Joystick
The oft-attempted but never imitated moves of Barry Sanders. The things Barry Sanders did on the football field will amaze football fans for countless generations to come. I grew up lucky getting to watch him play on Sundays.

Watch this video and tell me if you’re #42 for the Patriots if you even feel like getting out of bed the next morning.

6.) The Red Bull
The relentless motor and determination of LaDainian Tomlinson. As a fan who had to watch his team get decimated by LT twice a year for the duration of his career with San Diego, I can attest to the fact that LT’s motor was what made him so great. His powerful legs kept churning, fighting for extra yards, and eventually he’d break a long one on you after he punished your defense all day.

7.) The Wrecking Ball
The reckless abandon running style of Earl Campbell. The Tyler Rose doesn’t always get his due, but those who followed the Oilers back in the 70s will swear to you he was the greatest to ever play the game. One thing that set Campbell apart from the rest was his colossal size (His thighs were rumored to be 32 inches a piece). Campbell had runs where a guy would seemingly have all the leverage against him and he’d still find a way to break the tackle. The one play that always sticks in my head was a game against the Raiders where he got belted at the goal line, fell backwards, then somehow regained his balance and fell forward into the end zone.

8.) Mr. Longevity
The persistence of Emmitt Smith. It is fitting that he went into the HOF with Jerry Rice, because both players had remarkably long productive careers that ended with #1 status in the record books. In the modern age of running backs in which the shelf life is 4-5 solid seasons, Emmitt Smith churned out 11 straight 1000 yard seasons. The only reason Emmitt doesn’t get Tier 1 G.O.A.T consideration is because the teams he played on were stacked with talent, including one of the best offensive lines ever assembled. Also unfortunately for Emmitt he was probably the worst football analyst in TV history.

My Pick? Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson.

Game. Over.

Part 1: Build The Perfect Quarterback

2011-10-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about what attributes I would use to craft the perfect QB and I thought it would be fun to see what others would choose. Maybe we could also try it with the skill positions (WR, RB), although for WR I'd probably just take Jerry Rice.

Rules: Select 3 of the 10 listed attributes to build your "Perfect" quarterback.

1.) Mr. Measurables
The ideal size-athleticism combo of Cam Newton. Ok, sure... he's got all of 7 games under his belt, but Killa Cam looks like he could be the one to break the trend of the college do-it all QB not adapting in the NFL. He looks like what Vince Young was supposed to be.

2.) The Sniper
The precision release and field vision of Drew Brees. The magic man who can somehow find a wide open Lance Moore 30 yards down field without the aid of a step-ladder.

3.) The Natural
The all-around "It factor" and throw-on-the-run ability of Aaron Rodgers. A-Rod is on pace to throw for 5400 yards and 45 TDs... and thats just what we expected him to do. For my money, the best QB in the game right now.

4.) The Maestro
The pre-snap chess match intellect and offense orchestration of Peyton Manning, plus his insane marketability (Lets go insurance adjusters, cut that meat). And most importantly... Manning Face. The Colts offense went from a concerto conductor to an 8 track player.

5.) The Freak
The escapability, cannon arm and flat-line speed of Michael Vick, The favorite QB of cat lovers everywhere. There will likely never be another QB with an arm like Jeff George and moves like Barry Sanders.

6.) Houdini
The razor sharp accuracy and scramble wizardry of Steve Young. The original Stormin' Mormon. Steve Young might have been the best QB of all time had he not sat behind Joe Cool for all those seasons.

And let us never forget about the greatest run by a QB of all time vs a #1 ranked defense. He even pretends to get hit at the end of the run just to make it more dramatic. What a showman.

7.) Captain Comeback
The 2 minute drill, game winning drive ability of John Elway. He once led 6 4th quarter comebacks in a single season (1985) with a bastion of no-name talent surrounding him. Elway won games he had no business winning.

8.) The General
The spread offense mastery of Tom Brady is as impressive as his ability to impregnate supermodels and actresses. Even his sperm will find a way past any defense.

9.) Joe Cool
The in-game poise of Joe Montana. You've seen Dwight Clark's catch 7,000 times. Although Montana was notably flustered when he was getting harassed by the opposing defenses, nobody ever doubted that he'd find a way to win.

10.) Bomberman
The long ball dominance of Dan Marino. Dan the Man, much like Aaron Rodgers in 2005 was passed on by nearly every team in the 1983. And much like Rodgers, he'd make nearly every team that passed on him pay for it on Sundays.

11.) Two-Face
We can't forget about the Ol' Gunslinger can we? The ultimate 50/50, flip a Coin and hope you get Brett Favre on a good day. No other QB had the ability to achieve ultimate glory or ultimate failure. There never was a better dramatist on the field (or off).

For me, I would go 1, 6, 7.

A QB with the size-speed of Cam Newton, with Steve Young's accuracy and John Elway's comeback ability? Forget about it.
(Editor: Tweet us your choices, pick 3 and explain why. We may post a couple when we feel like it. Or probably not.)

Arian Foster is so good

2011-10-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

Check out this sweet move Arian Foster puts on Troy Polamalu to evade a tackle 3 yards deep in the backfield. Busts it out for the first down and then some. If he stays healthy, He'll get his 1200 yards. I don't think he'll have a drop off, he's shown he consistently can make plays and take it to any defense. The only two things that can stop Arian Foster are his hamstring and Gary Kubiak.

NFL Week 3 thoughts

2011-09-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

So we are hours away from week 3 of the NFL season, and for a lot of teams, it's time to show what they're actually made of. Some teams are playing their first legitimate competition of the year, others are just hoping to sneak out a win or two this season. Other teams just want to score double digits.

Let's start with the game that will probably matter most to anyone who might actually even read this.

HOU @ NO

The Texans come into this game looking to get a victory against a playoff team, to eliminate the talk that their competition up to this point hasn't been great. Granted, that statement is true, but some of the things they're doing against clearly inferior teams are a clear step up over previous years. Texans have always been notorious for playing down to their competition, but this year, they're beat up on the Colts early and often in the first half, then backed down once the game was relatively in hand, and handed the ball off to Tate most of the 4th quarter. Against the Dolphins, there were some struggles on offense in the endzone early, but the defense was making plays, which is something that last year wasn't even an option. With the defense making plays this year, the offense doesn't have to be playing out of their minds every single game to have a chance.

I don't think I really said anything there... hmm.

In any case, the Texans need to have a strong defensive showing today to have a chance to win this game. If it comes down to a shootout, Breesus has a better chance/more weapons of winning that battle. Darren Sproles scares me. He could have 50 yards, or 250 with a couple of missed tackles. If the Saints unleash Mark Ingram, it may get ugly quickly. Earl Mitchell and Shaun Cody are getting WORKED at NT. All that said, I think the Texans are better off letting the Saints throw, as awful as that sounds. This allows the front 7 to attack the QB, and hopefully the defensive backs can hold up, or at least stay close enough to their guys to force Brees to hold on to the ball. We need to force turnovers, pressure Brees, and hope the offense can play 60 minutes of football this week. I'm predicting a win, but that's mostly the homer in me.

Jeff Goldblum, Texans fan, after the game.

Some quick hitters...

Sunday Early:

JAC @ CAR - My survivor league pick this week, Cam Newton throws for 400 again, and beat the Jags.
DET @ MIN - Stafford lines up under center... FLIPPITY HUT! *fade to Megatron* TOUCHDOWN!
SF @ CIN - "Because Someone Has To Win" game of the week. Bengals win.
MIA @ CLE - Daniel Thomas has his revenge for me dropping him in 2 fantasy leagues.
NE @ BUF - Buffalo Win(g)s! Stevie Johnson thanks god for his 3 touchdown catches. 37-31
NYG @ PHI - Bradshaw breaks off over 200 yards rushing/receiving. McCoy held relatively in check.
DEN @ TEN - Tebow leads the comeback, Orton knocked out of game in 3rd.

Sunday Late:
NYJ @ OAK - Upset of the week? Denarius Moore unleashes on Revis Island.
BAL @ STL - Angry Birds, Ravens make up for last week's loss to the Titans.
KC @ SD - Going to be a lot closer than people think, Norv nearly gives game away...
ATL @ TB - Matty Ice builds lead, Freeballin' leads comeback, 21 unanswered... 38-35 Bucs
ARI @ SEA - Kolb the only other 400 yard passer this week, hits Fitzgerald for 2TD. Listen
GB @ CHI - Cutler being Cutler. A couple of pick 6es lead the way to a Packers victory.

Sunday Night:
PIT @ IND - Indy gets raped. Lowest ratings ever, no one wants to admit to watching that shit.

Monday Night:
WAS @ DAL - Grossman, ahh ahhhhhhh, fighter of the Cowmen... ahh ahhhhh, champion of sun... ahh ahhhhh. He's the master of FuckItI'mGoingDeep on everyone.

Favorite video of the week:

FLIPPITY HUT!

September 11, 2001

2011-09-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

A day that changed a large chunk of our every day lives. As a nation, it was a tragic event that caused many changes to military, architecture, travel, and just every day of many people's lives. For a small section of others, it meant way more than we could ever imagine. Loss of family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors, the list goes on and on. Approximately 2977 people lost their lives that day, including 2,606 inside the World Trade Center, 125 inside the Pentagon, 87 passengers aboard American flight 11, 60 passengers aboard United flight 175, 59 passengers aboard American flight 77 and 40 aboard United flight 93. I cannot imagine how crushing of a feeling it was to turn on the TV, see the various news outlets reporting all the different incidents, and waiting for hours, days, weeks, hoping their family member would come marching through that door, maybe worn out, injured, but alive. For the families of those 2977 people, that day never came.

Why am I writing this on a sports blog? Well, here's my take on the entire situation. In my case, in many people's cases I would guess, sports is maybe the biggest way to break away from reality and for a few hours, let yourself ignore any problems going on in your life, regardless of how miniscule or large the problem may be, and just enjoy yourself. While people (myself included) can become upset at their team losing, it's a temporary thing where 5 minutes later, you're probably already thinking about something else, bills, work, family, etc. Sports, football in particular, are watched by millions and millions of Americans. Quite possibly the biggest event in most cities every week there is a home game. This gives way to raise awareness, whether it is Breast Cancer, Military, or anything else the leagues feel they need to give tribute to.

After September 11th, it took nearly a week for Major League Baseball games to get back underway, and almost two weeks for the National Football League to come back. Starting with the Arizona Diamondbacks at Coors Field facing the Colorado Rockies, MLB came back to action with many displays of honoring those who lost their lives, and specifically to those first responders, who assisted in getting people out of the buildings, only to themselves be lost in the debris as the Towers collapsed upon themselves. There's no telling how many lives these first responders saved, and if you think back to the rest of the MLB and NFL seasons, there were many a display of FDNY (New York City Fire Department) and NYPD (New York City Police Department) across both sports. They risked their lives to save the lives of others. They are heroes in every sense of the word. (I have a bone to pick with ESPN regarding their Tedy Bruschi "Hero" crap after he came back from a stroke, but this is neither the time nor the place)

Two lasting images I will not forget from these two sports were the first games I saw in each sport. The first is the Cowboys vs San Diego Chargers, which aired locally in Houston. George Teague ran onto the field wielding a huge United States flag down the field.

The second image is the Arizona Diamondbacks at Colorado Rockies game I mentioned in the previous paragraph, and was broadcast on ESPN for the entire nation to see the first game back since September 11th.

These games were all played in my opinion, as a symbol to try to get back to some sense of normalcy. Whether that meant going back to work, going back to school, tailgating with your buddies before a football game on Sunday, or something as simple as just being able to get on with daily life without living in fear all day and night, the country's largest events that entire week were there not only as a distraction, not only as something to watch, but to embrace what had happened, and to pay tribute to all those lost, on September 11th.

Now let's do the same, 10 years later, honor the country, those lost that day, those who fought overseas, those lost overseas, over the past 10 years, regardless of what your stance is on the politics behind everything, today that doesn't matter. To my uncle who fought in Afghanistan, and is now back home and probably already up ready to go tailgate, and everyone else in every branch of the military, thanks for all you've done, all you're doing, all you will continue to do, and let's play some goddamn football.

Marques Colston Injured likely to miss 1 month.

2011-09-09T17:04:00.001-07:00

Jay Glazer is reporting that Marques Colston will miss approximately 4 weeks after suffering a broken collarbone during last night's 34-42 loss to Green Bay.

This is exactly why I avoided Colston in my fantasy draft, he's made of more glass than a Gotham ceiling. He was already battling some nagging injuries in training camp, and this is only more evidence that he's just not a trustworthy fantasy option.

I expect Brees to continue to spread the ball around, and the obvious recipients will be Robert Meachem and Devery Henderson. Lance Moore is also expected to return to the practice field soon and could play next week against the Bears.

Remember that Chicago has one of the league's best run defenses, so Brees will likely be going to the air early and often (Bold prediction, I know).

Jimmy Graham could also get more looks, as he was disappointingly ignored for most of the game by Brees last night, however did add a late touchdown to turn in a dandy 55 yard, 1 score performance.

If you invested a high pick in Graham, then you should still expect to see somewhere around 800 yards and 9 scores from the former Miami Hurricanes forward.

From a non-fantasy standpoint, the Saints should be concerned less concerned about Mark Ingram being stuffed at the goal line and more concerned about their continued inability to tackle anyone.

Something tells me the memories of Marshawn Lynch's Mario Star-Power run in the playoffs last season is still fresh in the minds of the Saints D.

What if Brett Favre goes to the Colts?

2011-09-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

Twitter... as Twitter likes to do, is all abuzz about Brett Favre. Specifically, Brett Favre to the Colts. Granted, not a single anywhere near reputable source is saying this, but for my purposes, let's pretend he's been Slingin' and Slangin'™ down at Oak Grove High School preparing for the call to lead some "playoff ready team" to the promised land again.

What better team to join currently than the Indianapolis Colts. At worst, the Colts are back to the #2 team in the division so long as Favre can stay somewhat healthy. Jacksonville and Tennessee have nothing worth worrying about, and the Texans are implementing a new defense.

The defense of the Texans has looked really good in the preseason, but we'll have to wait til week 1 to see how they do in real action. The AFC South, aside from the Texans potentially doing well this year, are relatively up for grabs. The only easier way to get into the playoffs is to join the Niners or Seahawks, but it appears that both are battling for position in the Suck For Luck sweepstakes.

I'm already thinking about how to use "The Dark Knight Rises" to describe Andrew Luck. Depends on which team he goes to.

So, let's say Irsay in all his crazy cryptic tweets the past month have actually been in the Favre hunt. What if he gets thrown into the fire week 1 against the Texans. Do the Texans crush his spirit with their newfound success getting to the passer? Does Favre throw up one or more of his patented interceptions to Troy Nolan? Or does he torch the Texans (read: Kareem Jackson) for 300+ yards?

I certainly would be more afraid of Favre than I would be Kerry Collins, but that's just the Texan fan in me thinking the world is against me. If Favre was facing a team with a decent enough defense, he'd get murdered week 1, and possibly the first 2-3 weeks. He may settle in after that, but he'd struggle early.

I wonder what kind of female reporters the Colts have available. Or anyone in the organization for that matter, I'm sure Favre doesn't discriminate.